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The Fonz

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Everything posted by The Fonz

  1. ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER: This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office. Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date. Do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book. It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card. My driving licence. My car insurance. On the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years. All those insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!! I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fecking people I'd want to tell! Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another poxy copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fecking' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fecking' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off! Signed An Irate Citizen P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor .. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN!
  2. Happy birthday Jamer have a cool day dude
  3. The Fonz

    And finally

    Enjoy the good times to come :Smiler:
  4. I am not saying that and to be quite frank I am fed up with hearing it, genuine disabled people no problem, but its all about them what about us? where are we supposed to park then? where do people with bigger vehicles park like in Jamers case? everywhere I drive all I seem to see is disabled parking and even disabled people abuse where they can park! by parking on junctions and street corners like it was mentioned above. If if was late at night or if there were loads of bays I would park in them too, what the problem with that? makes me laugh in our local supermarket there are over 25 disabled parking bays yet only one mobility scooter and 5 or 6 disabled trolleys, something does not add up...
  5. This is a slightly selfish attitude, what makes you so special? we are all entitled to park in these car parks and yes some of us drive 4x4's and vans or estate cars. Don't get me wrong, I feel for genuine disabled people but half the people I see with blue badges are NOT what i would consider disabled. DLA now there is a massive cost to the country (tax payer?) WHY WHY WHY are so called 'disabled' people having BRAND NEW CARS? I have worked everyday of my life and I have never been able to afford a new car and probably never will either. I appreciate that the person is giving their allowance book or payment to the mobility garage in order to have the car but why cant they just use taxi's for example? my father is 84 years old, and he had a stroke several years ago and had to surrender his license, he is is happy to use a taxi, so whats the difference here? the reason that I say this is because my cousin has a brand spanking new VW Passet (he paid to top up to a higher standard of car, this is a kudos thing i know!) and uses it probably twice a week to take his Mrs shopping, its outside his house most of the time, so surely that would save a fortune or have good quality second hand cars say 5 years old...never understood this, seems to be 20 x more disabled spaces in the city's these days than there were 15 years ago, if you have a blue badge this allows you to park almost anyway, you see cars parked close to junctions and corners all the time, so stop whingeing that some people with larger vehicles choose to park in these bays when its late in the day or if there are plenty available.
  6. Going to give this a go :Thumbs_Up1:
  7. Merry Christmas to all on Jamers
  8. Hello and hey! Welcome back :Thumbs_Up1: :Thumbs_Up1:
  9. The Fonz

    hi guys

    Hey dude it's nice to see you back :Thumbs_Up1: :Thumbs_Up1:
  10. Hey Alloneword nice to have you back :Thumbs_Up1: :Thumbs_Up1: :Thumbs_Up1:
  11. The Fonz

    Halloween!

    that's funny just seen it lol
  12. Hello stranger! good to see you back :Thumbs_Up1:
  13. ###### me! Where have you been hiding?
  14. Hi Beebo it's good to see you online again :Thumbs_Up1:
  15. Don't know how they still get away with line rental? WTF line rental they have give you a line in order to have a phone!
  16. Hi Sak nice to see you back on the pad, hope life is treating you good x
  17. I have been watching this story on the news. This is very sad and a big loss for the World. RIP
  18. Miserable buggers, what's the matter with you? moan moan moan, and where did you get those ridiculous figures from? To be fair, the London 2012 Olympics has probably been the most successful to date and it has lifted this Country!! It's the best thing that has happened in years. Most Countries would be honored to hos the Olympics. Now that the main event is over I actually feel slightly deflated, looking forward to the Para Olympics now. If your concerned over wasted money the government should look into these lazy sods that don't want to work, people that illegally claim and the so called fake disabled scams going around, these are the negatives that cost this Country! So instead of attacking the positives such as the fantastic Olympics that the World has just witnessed, try focusing your anger on the negatives!
  19. You obviously have never owned an Apple computer? to make a comment like that I feel...
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