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Alloneword

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Alloneword last won the day on August 30 2019

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About Alloneword

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  1. Defo not riding my bike down the A13 anymore
  2. Alloneword

    2020

    I guess i'm lucky in one way as i have been split from my so called family for many years that way if one of them was to die it would not bother me, however having said that my wife died on the 14th Dec and buried here on the 2nd Jan and to be honest it is the biggest kick in the balls i have ever had and trust me i have had a few in my days, but to lose that many people (who i presumed you loved) then i don't understand how your still standing, i wish i could say something to help but i'm all out of advice m8, i can only give you my best, ever thought Jamer is a jinx 🤣
  3. Yea sod the humans save the fluffy animals..... No not being funny with you but agree i have sent a donation to help the wildlife, my father lives in Adelaide and they had some fires in the hills but nothing near him directly, but i do follow some folks on the gram who live in sydney and they were on the 10th floor of the office and they could not see out the windows due to smoke, very sad, and then comes the floods and hail the size of golf balls, i was joking to my dad on the phone all we need was a plague of locusts and low and behold 2 days later there was a story on the news about a plague of locusts somewhere, not in Aus but just ironic.
  4. I know the feeling Dave, i can see the statin and gabepenten (spelling) there i have them as well and i presume your on a high dose of thinners right now, last time i was here i saw you had issues with driving, i don't know if they told you but you can't drive for a month after your stroke, I presume it was not a haemorrhagic more often it seems to be ischaemic which is what i had about 18 months ago, Dave this is a warning, wake up and smell the coffee m8 you may not be so lucky next time, i saw some scarey sights when i was in hospital and it sh1t the life out of me, i'm lucky hopefully i wont have to worry about things soon but YOU have kids and grankids, change your lifestyle Dave, i'm only being harsh because i do not what your going through, you will be classed as disabled get to the pool when they have disabled sessions i did and it helped a fair bit F U C K what others may think of your it's your life and you are the only one who can change things, i do wish you the very best dave and dont take any offence to what i say i am saying it as i have been through what your going through, all the best. Dont bother replying i won't be here to see it, i only came here for one reason tonight and that was to PM Jamer
  5. That's a intresting link Pan i'm half scottish and love my pipes, i have a playlist for when i'm going to do what i have in place and that is on there, always brings a tear to my eye. I signed in today for one reason and one reason only, and that is to let you all know i had to bury my wife today, and it is a pain that i cannot describe, i only hope none of you ever get to experience it. Thank you Rother for you simple yet poignant words and thanks for respecting my choice. I will post one more time and that i suspect will be from a mobile device minutes before I say goodbye to all the pain i have had to put up with and i don't mean losing my wife, agonizing that it is. Morgan
  6. Please folks it has nothing to do with my wife dying, i can deal with that it's the other stuff The Fonz, taking your own life is NOT the easy option, trust me when you have scoped your options out and what is going to happen to you at the end you need massive balls to do it, it seems people want to push their own agenda without thinking about how much i have to suffer so i will say no more in fact it might be best if Jamer wipes the whole damm thread, i expect more understanding. I wanted to hang around until a day or so before i done what i needed to but it would seem that is not going to be the case, so i will say my goodbyes now and wish everyone the best for themselves, thanks for the fun time i have had here the majority of the time and i wish you all the best. All1
  7. Sad to say this is no sick joke i wish it was. Debt does not bother me i have been bankrupt before, yes it's a pain in the backside,but not enough to push me over the edge, simple fact is you can't have what i don't have to give you, i will be paying Sue's funeral off for years if i was staying here. The main push for me doing what i'm doing is my HA not giving me a bath i can use safely, and putting a black mark against my name with a power of arrest, and i never even got a chance to defend myself in court before the injunction was put in place, so i now have it on record that i have the potential to be a violent thug, i don’t know if i said before i have had the ability to be a thug in my younger days but after doing my time inside i made a choice not to go back to prison and had to change my friends and the company i kept that was hard as i had come to love those dudes but i knew if i stayed with them i would be in the same do do again, and i will not let her push me back into being that kind of person, it's the black mark against me that has pushed me over the edge, some in fact 95% of the people i know say stay and fight but i have been fighting for over 4 years. I'm also very scared of the old story that people who have been abused go on to be nonces themselves, me i think that is just the nonces trying to get peeps to feel sorry for them, if you have been raped as a kid i cannot understand how you could ever abuse anyone, and to get to my docs i have to go past a primary school, and as ive explained above sometimes i can only walk by "cupping" myself so my penis does not rub against my pants etc and if anyone was to see me like this it would not go down well as i'm sure you can imagine. I'm happy in my head about most things i just cannot fight anymore. Please everyone try to understand i won't be talked out of this. I just want you to know why i will not be around from mid-late Jan and when my posts stop you can add 2 & 2 together and yes it will make 4.
  8. Brett i'm not using Jamers website Brett (and Jamer come to that) I am not using his website for any "statement" as such but i will go over it again quickly, I gave as much info as i did as i wanted people to know WHY i'm doing what i plan to do purely so they may understand my decesion, i know some folks hate the thought of taking their own life and i get that, i'm not looking for anything out of this myself, this was to explain to others where i have gone, as i said it bugs me when folks vanish and i thought if i vanished of the face of the earth others may wonder what happened, by doing this i wanted others to know what happened to me so it gives them an answer, i mean you think i enjoy putting this online? It's killing me i have people on here who i consider friends and i just didn't want anyone to wonder what happend to All1. Jamer if your unhappy with this thread feel free to edit/delete whatever suits you i have no intention of using the site to cause hassle for anyone, my intentions were good. I wanted people to know why im going offline and gave the info i did to explain my actions, i knew not everyone would like or even agree with me, in fact only 2 people have contacted me and said i must do what is right for me everyone else has said it's a bad move, as i say Jamer do what you feel is right for you and no hard feelins whatever happens all i ask is if someone pops up and asks about me we tell them the truth, and that being he's gone for good., lock it if it suits as well, as i say whatever is good for the board All1
  9. Hi D, hope our well. Difference is i have no body who cares if i live or die and i'm fine with that, there will be a few peeps i will miss from the web but you have to weigh up the pro's and cons to things and for me the sh1t i get from my HA and the pain im in every day does not make it worth staying around. Folks please understand I didn't want this to turn into a debate on what i should do, my mind has been made up for some time, in fact this summer i rode my bike away with no plans to come back alive but i put Sue first as it would have done her in but now Sue has moved on I do not have that worry anymore, please folks see things from my point of view, and as i said to Jamer if your dog was this unwell and unhappy your put it to sleep and that's all i'm doing, life will go on for all of you and that's cool, give it 6 months and the most of you will not give me a second thought and there is nothing wrong with that, my only advice to all of you is try not leave your loved ones on bad terms, as if something happens the guilt you will have is unreal. All1
  10. Sorry Colin no can do fed up taking the kind of sh1t (excuse the pun) my HA are putting me through, as i said in my other post i cannot even wash my bits properly today i had to get some shopping in and the pain was so bad i had to stop about 4 times just to get the pain under control in my penis, i have to put padding down my pants (no to give myself a big bulge like Zorro) but to catch the blood that comes of the foreskin and skin on the penis when i got home it was covered in blood, this would not happen if i was able to stand in my bath and have a shower but i can't, your right my wife would not have wanted me to do this but now i have no one left in my life i am able to be a selfish as i like, i'm gratefull for the kind words Colin but if your dog was in this much pain would you let it suffer? No neither would i and i think the same about humans which is why when my wife died 10 days ago as much as it killed me i kept telling her to let go and move on as i did not want her to suffer anymore. You see Colin we live in an awefull world where if he tables were turned you would be able to pay for a brief and get it sorted, however the poorer side of life means people like me are worth less than someone like you, i'm not having a go at anyone who has money it's just a sad fact in todays world in the old days i would have been able to get legal aid but do to cutbacks in legal aid fuinding (no idea if it was red or blue) peole like me do matter less and i'm sorry but i do think like that, you just need to know when your fighting a losing battle and this one i cannot fight, I can about get the 5k together for sue's funeral and that is more important to me than paying a brief, and before anyone says anything no thanks to a go fund me page, someone has already suggested that and i turned it down, i'm just done fighting. All1
  11. This has fook all to do with the time of year it's funny you mention Rocky that is what i tell all the "Pro" people it's like a boxing match hit me once and i will get up, hit me twice and i will get up, hit me 3 times and i will get up but there comes a point where one day i will get hit and i will not get up and going to court and getting an injunction against me saying i'm a violant person when i'm not is the knock out blow, to be honest i can't remember what i wrost in first post and can't be arsed to rad it again, when you have walked the last 45 years of my life then you can tell me what to do i'm not looking for pats on the back or bigging myself up or any of that crap, i'm here to tell people what is going on so they will not wonder where i have gone when i'm not on here for a few weeks you can all put 2 and 2 together and if any of you want to double check my story then my full details are as follows, give it a few month and check out with the bods that issue death certs and i will be on it as suicide (spelling) NAME: Morgan Bentley Joy D.O.B.: 13-06-1966 AADDRESS: 4 Spence Close, London. SE16 5UH Mothers Maiden Name: Graham Place of Birth: Broadstairs, Kent Closer to the time i will post my mobile phone number and that phone and SIM will be making it's way to my next of kin, so you can ring and ask him, his name is Stirling, he will not be getting involved with funeral as there will not be one (paid for by family, so poor mans funeral) but he will confirm all the details for you but i warn you anyone who rings him will get the full unedited version and it WILL BE grim. As i say it's just to let you all know where i have gone it does bug me when folks disappear with no explination for it (Bhess/Tatman, etc) just thought it might bug others Will still be around till 10th of Jan at least as i have plans i need to sort of after my wifes funeral All1
  12. Simple question who lives near me?
  13. It's OK buddy I have been fighting this for years and as i have explained to my shrinks that it's like a boxing match, you can hit someone and they go down but get back up time and time again, however there will come one punch when the boxer will not get up and this is where i am right now, the worst thing for me is they went to court to get the injunction and i was unable to defend myself and now i have this black mark against me that i cannot live with, i'm not a violant man and to be labeled as such is just too much, i cannot get any legal help so this is a fight i cannot win and i know when i'm done, and i'm done, there is no need to worry about me i will be in a better place IMO and away from this sh1t i just hope that the woman in charge is made to answer for her actions however i will not be be here to see it. This is NOT a cry for help or any of that stuff it's just to explain to everyone where i have gone when folks wonder why i have not been online for a while. There will be some PC stuff going begging to some degree soon, mainly HDD but folks will ned to be local to me, i'm selling stuff from my home now as i want to raise cash to be able to give to a chairty we both liked and i will be able to give them the cash when i have sold most of our stuff, I say again there is no need to worry about me it's just an answer to everyone who will wonder why i have not been online for some time. Dry your eyes buddy i'm not worth it, look after your family and give them an extra hug as trust me you never know what is round the corner. Morgan (yes this is my real name, Clive what a nick name from school days)
  14. Very hard for me to make this post but given recent events I am being left with no option but to say goodbye for good and when i say good i mean permantly. I will go into some detail but not full as to be honest it will be too disgusting for most of you to read. When i was 7 i was raped many hundreds of time by a so called family friend and some of is sidekicks, apart from being orally and anally raped something even more sicking was urine and was used as part of their "Games" as they called it, i don't need to go any further than that i'm sure you can guess the rest, this has left me with shall we say "issues" when it comes to me taking a leak and having a poo, when i do this i NEED to take a shower to get rid of the smeel and make myself feel clean if for any reason i cannot have a shower i have a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of water and bleach, this get sprayed right onto my anus and around my penis and i have to make sure i get that bleach behind my foreskin to feel clean, I'm sure it must sound crazy to ever last one of you and yea it is crazy as it hurts like hell, I have not been able to shower the way i want to for about a month now and my penis is so red i could give Rudulf a run for his money. Now the problem is 4 years ago my Housing Assoc (Wandle Housing Assocation) [HA] sent one of their plumbers round and he said the both needed replacing, all i wanted from my HA was a bath that had the grippy dots going all along the bottom of the bath they refused and said they could not source one, so i spend about 90 seconds on Google and found a site that done a raft of them and would have done my wife and i fine, we did not want anything fancy, just the dots along the floor, the reason for this is i have some mobility issues and my grab rail is at the opposite end to the taps so it makes sence to have grip all the way along, so given funds are tight and we are in social housing sector we offered to make up the extra cost of the bath, they refused, we offered to pay for the whole bath, they refused, we then offered to pay for the whole bath and even pay for their staff costs, so it would have cost them nothing but they still refused, this had been going of for ages, over this period i have been writing to the Chief Executive of Wandle a woman by the name of Tracey Lees, after writing these letters i was going round the bend and considering doing some very unusal things, for example in Aug or Sept this year i had just had enough and walked out of my home got on bike and just left London, i just had to get away from this place, i sat on the slipway to a motorway and had the bike sitting on tickover and the helmet on the tank and sat their for about 30 minutes looking at a bridge thinking i should be able to get up to about 110, 120 before i hit the post but the one thing that stopped me was thinking that knowing my luck i'd end up breaking my back and being a Veggie so gave up with that and came home only to find plod waiting here for me, some 30 minutes of chat later they could not understand why the Chief Executive had not allowed the bath to be put in espicially as a neighbour has refit his own bathroom and Wandle know about it and have done nothing about it, so discrimnation is there, i had also by this stage taken to social media twitter handle is traceylees2 i think as i was left with no choich but to go via this route, you must understand i have made no threat to ANY member of staff, however she took to telling her staff that i had said in a tweet that i said i knew where she lived and was going to go round her house, if that was the case plod would be on my door and my wife and i would lose our home, however she sent 2 staff to our home and said i had to stop posting to her and stop making threat to go round to her place, these staff went back to the office (12 months ago) and filed a report on their visit, i got a copy of that report via Subjest Access Request and little did they know i had taped the whole visit on my phone and could not only poke holes in what they said in the report but i could smash it to bits and did so line by line and i sent it back to her asking for an explaination, however all i got was an injunction served on me on Monday with a power of arrest attched to it so already there is a black mark against my name and i object to that, i have a criminal record and have no issue with that being on the PNC but i do object to be proved in the courts eyes i had done something without even getting a chance to defent myself, oh on top of that the next day i got a £6,500 bill for their legal fees, they know i'm on the dole so have no chance of that. So i cannot take anymore, i will kill myself in the very near future, I have tried to conatct CAB but phones never get answered cannot go and stand for 2 hours to get in due to stroke and spinal issues, not point in writing i will be dead before they can answer me no legal aid and even when i offerd the 2k (Sue and I life saving) they say it's not enough to spend the time they would need to so our 2k would be gone in a couple of hours, I cannot even post to twitter or facebook myself as this would break the injunction so the idea of free speach is gone i have NEVER said anything that is not true, the only bad thing i said was she deserved a bullet in the head and to be honest with the both physical and mental pain she has put me and my wife through i feel a bullet would be too good and if there was a real dnager i was going to shoot her why have i not been raided by the firearms guys, cause she is in no danger from me. I have tried to kill myself before because of these people but got to 20th floor only to find out im scared of heights, it's like a bad comedy sketch, but i have found another way that is very quick and painless for me, so i have shared all this very private information as i will be around till at least 3rd Jan 2020 but after this date there will come a period of time where my name will not be up on here that reason will be because i'm dead, i am not lookin for sympathy or peeps saying what a great blah blah blah, not of that junk this is just a heads up so nobody will wonder where i have gone you will all know, i will be hopefully somewhere better. So why i have i picked the 3rd of Jan 2020, well that's simple......... I'm laying my wonderful wife to rest on the 2nd, yup all this f**king sh1t from my housing and they still want to hassle me when i'm trying to deal with the loss of my partner for the last 28 years who died in Kings College Hospital on the 14th Dec @ 16:50Hrs and these C***s won't leave me alone, £5,000 for a funeral that is one up from the most basic, £800 in flowers and they want £6.5k, i could just about cope with some help from my GP and support groups to cope with the loss of my wife in time, but not fighting my housing AND having a black mark against my name for no reason, i'm no pussy who can't live without a woman in his life, i am being forced into killing myself. Some my feel offended by what i say next but honestly i feel like a Jew in WW2 i'm being hounded to my death, The day before i do kill myself i will be sending all my evidence to various people who should have some power to look into this one copy will go special del and one go rec del just to make sure they get them, (royal mail and all that lot), it's just a shame i'm not allowed to post to her anymore but she will have some very tough questions to answer in the years to come and i hope that b1tch dies of cancer just like my wife did and one thing to add about my wife, she was raped as a child by her father as well and used to scrub her lady bits in the bath every night to feel clean but for the last 6 months of her life she was unable to have a bath as it was to dangerious for her due to it being so slippy so she had to strip wash for the last 6 months of her life. How inhuman can one woman be pure C u n t As i say im after nothing from anyone just want to explain 1) why i'm not online and 2) the reason for my death to you, I have made some great friends and i thank you all for making me welcome even though i suspect i p1ss some of you off but my parting advice to you all is, Hold you loved ones close, the pain of losing them is like something you will have never experienced before. Take Care everyone All1
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